Forgiven to Forgive?

“Instead, be kind to one another, tender-hearted, graciously forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has graciously forgiven you.”

Ephesians 4:32

When counseling a young couple before they get married, or a couple experiencing issues in their marriage, I have them read David Paul Tripp’s book, Marriage & Gospel Commitment Every Couple Needs to Make. In the book, he lays out six commitments that all couples should make to one another. The very first commitment is, “We will give ourselves over to a regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness.” This is the key to every relationship that a believer has.

Forgiveness is one of the most complex commands in the Christian life. Our natural reaction to hurt is to hold onto it and keep replaying the offense, justifying our anger, or waiting until the other person “deserves” forgiveness. But Paul reminds us that our motivation to forgive is not based on others’ worthiness but on Christ’s mercy toward us.

When we truly grasp how much we’ve been forgiven, it changes how we see those who wrong us. We remember that we once stood guilty before a holy God, yet He reached out in grace. Christ bore our sins, not because we earned it, but because His love compelled Him to show mercy. That same grace now calls us to extend what we’ve received.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean we minimize the pain or pretend it never happened. It means we release the right to retaliate and place the matter in God’s hands. When we forgive, we mirror the heart of Jesus—tender, kind, and full of grace.

So, who in your life needs to experience the reflection of Christ’s forgiveness through you today? Remember: forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s an act of obedience rooted in gratitude. We forgive, because we are forgiven. It has been said that when we do not forgive, it is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

Your shepherd,

Pastor Mark